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What Mama Says In Celebration Of All Mother’s Advice


photo by Photo Provided

photo by Photo Provided

Tuesday May 5, 2015

By Cookie Steponaitis

While poets have filled volumes of paper with verses dedicated to love, just as many pages have been compiled honoring the devotion of a mother’s love and her sage advice. The ancient Irish proverb reminds us that, “A man loves his sweetheart the most, and his wife the best, but his mother the longest.” At the heart of Mother’s Day reflections, cards and tributes is a core of wisdom and advice that seems to flow effortlessly from mothers to their children and strangely enough age teaches the child that most of the time, mom was right. The Valley Voice salutes all mothers everywhere and offers this celebration of advice mama gave and the incredible power in her words over fifty years later.
    Judith grew up in Addison County and now lives in one of the boroughs of New York City and remains an independent and fiercely urban dweller but there is still not a day that passes without some of Judith’s mom’s advice ringing true in her life. “Just the other day,” shared Judith, “I was helping a friend at work deal with office intrigue and I suddenly heard my mom’s voice as clear as day tell me, ‘anything worth having is worth working for and if you are having a really bad day put some lipstick on and you will always feel better.’ I passed it on to my friend and it really worked.”
    Luke shared a memory of his mom who always told him to, “never miss the opportunity to learn a new skill,” and has found that true in his life when he has changed jobs and careers several times in his life.  His brother Sam recalled mandatory cooking lessons and mom telling him, “knowing your way around your kitchen will save your bacon, balance your budget and help attract the right kind of wife.” Sam broke out into a grin and assured this reporter that the stomach and budget part were true and his wife is the love of his life but a disaster in the kitchen. Oh well, moms do not have to get it right 100% of the time.
    Moms also leave us advice in places where we least expect it. Two students recalled lunch box notes that included pearls of wisdom like, “Let all that you do be done with love” and even more direct thoughts like, “Don’t throw out your vegetables.”  Another high school senior, Anne recounted her mom always putting messages of encouragement and praise in her lunch box. “I used to know that my lunch always had two treats,” Ann shared. “One was a homemade cookie and one was a post-it-note with a message and a hug on it.”
    ­The balance between championing and raising children to stand alone has always been a part of the mystical bond between mothers and children. While the nest is eventually empty computers and technology can still bring children and moms together no matter the distance or age. Mary spoke about reaching out to her mother as a friend now that she was on her own, but admitted calling home every week just to hear the voice that would soothe her, calm her nerves or help her in making changes if need be. “No matter what I call to talk about,” shared Mary, “Mom knows what the reason is for the call and tells me to get to it and let her know what is up.”
    Whether we hurry to our mothers in times of trouble or lean on them until it is no longer necessary, Mom’s fill a niche in our lives and hearts that cannot be replaced or duplicated. Whether they are our birth mothers, adopted mothers or second or third mothers, they are our truest friends and love us whether in good times and times of struggle. They are who we cling to and emulate. Most importantly, they understand what we do not say as much as what we do. They fix skinned knees, mend wounded and broken hearts, cheer us on, pick us up, push our buttons, demand more of us than we think they should and with love open doorways, teach lessons and clear pathways to move us on into our own lives. While every person this reporter talked to had a different definition of what makes mom special, each had many stories and teachable moments about their lives that were enriched by the person who loved them best, longest and without question. So, Happy Mother’s Day and please take the time to stop, call, and if possible celebrate with your mom. While she will understand if you do not, she will treasure it more if you do.


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