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Sharing Memories Of The Holidays Gone By: Looking Back Through Elderly Eyes

photo provided Bundled up and headed to the family gathering. Echoes of Christmas long ago.

Tuesday December 21, 2010

By Cookie Steponaitis

The race is on to the holidays and traditional examples begin to pop up around the Champlain Valley. Hundreds brave the cold for a bargain on Black Friday. Even more huddle in front of the computer screen shopping on Cyber Monday and hope the deals will last until they finish. Parents scramble to fit in concerts, dinners and events at school and in the community. The trees get lights, the snow blowers come out of storage and the pace of life accelerates reflecting the traditions of the modern holiday season. But what about times gone by? How did the holiday season come together for those Vermonters who are now approaching 90 and 100 years of age? What holiday traditions did they have and treasure? How do their memories of the holidays differ from ours? Most importantly, by sharing memories of the past, what lessons can we learn as we hustle our way through another season?

“Over the river and through the woods, to grandma’s house we go. The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh, through the ice and drifting snow. Over the river and through the woods, trot fast my dapple gray.” Originally a poem written in 1844 by Lydia Maria Child, this image of holidays includes different modes of transportation and a different focus of time spent. While a song to most of us, to those approaching 100 it is a memory of holidays spent with a different focus and plan.

Sitting down with the residents of Addison County that are close to earning the term centenarians, the listener is treated to stories that span ten decades of memories and three nations told in a mixture of English, French and German. A cornucopia of memories and traditions about the holidays, each unique and powerful, the stories raise the following questions for us today- what are the holidays? what do they mean? what do we share and what do we pass on to the next generation?

Madeleine Neuhoff, who is celebrating her 98th Christmas this year, notes the memories of the holidays are closely tied to the religious aspects of her Catholic upbringing and the preparation of the meals. “It started days before the holidays,” shared Madeleine. “We would not have much in the way of gifts, but we had scrimped and saved for months for the ingredients of the meals we would have. We ate a lot of wild game at Christmas, but also had sweets and treats. All of those had to wait until we went to Midnight Mass at the church and went caroling in the sleighs. We celebrated in God’s name before we celebrated in our own.”
While there were sometimes full size trees, most of her memories are about table top trees that were decorated with sweets and small ornaments. “We would see the tree and then see which ornaments and treats were for us,” Madeleine reminisced. “It was done at the opening of the family meal for Christmas Day. While there was celebrating to be done, life did not stop its normal pattern. There were chores to be done, extra butter to be churned and fresh washing to be hung on the line to dry. The barn still was cleaned and the hen house checked, even on Christmas morning. When people came over later in the day, there was a gathering in the living room and stories were shared of the year and of wishes for the coming one.” When Madeleine spoke of these times, her face lit up and she switched into her native language of French. Mixed in with the stories were snippets of Christmas songs she remembered, both sung in English and in French, all glorifying God and family.

One popular desert was called the Cake of the Kings and is a part of many celebration traditions in Quebec to this day. After going outside and participating in a skit where children meet the Three Kings on their way to see the baby Jesus, they would give the wise kings gifts of food for their journey. In return the kings would give the children Cake of the Kings, which was covered with decorations of stars, crowns and holy items. Inside the cake was baked a special gift of a bean or a piece of jewelry. Whoever found the gift in the family became one of the three kings in the next year’s skit.

Gifts were exchanged, but Madeleine shared that they were the smallest part of the celebration. “Our family was very poor in material possessions,” she shared, “but so wasn’t everyone else. The death of my mother when I was very little required that my sisters and I be raised by the nuns, because my father simply could not raise all of us. The boys stayed with him.” One joy that all her neighbors shared was the love of music. Several times during the holidays families would gather at each other’s homes and whoever played an instrument would start in and the sounds of those sing-alongs still echo in her mind and heart.

“It is ironic, isn’t it?” remarked Madeleine. “I can’t tell you exactly how old I am, how many presidents I have lived through, or what the day of the week is right now, but I can remember those songs and those times like they were yesterday. They are just so much a part of me.” A part of her indeed! As Madeleine continued to share her stories, she went to a place in her mind and heart that we are privileged to glimpse. She shared stories of times of family and gatherings based on not who had what gift to give, but who had a story to share and a song to sing. In reminiscing with people of that era and generation, there are several messages that seem to disconnect with the modern era. First and foremost was the reality that what was celebrated was family and faith. Secondly, having little still met having a lot and lastly that in music and song there are the bonds and connections that span time, age and distance.

So, Merry Christmas to all and as we deck the halls, trim the tree and race to the next engagement or cyber or clearance sale, hear in the back of your mind the lessons of those who are still among us and encouraging us to look at the holiday season through a different lens. As Washington Irving and Marjorie Holmes reminded us respectfully, “The Holiday season is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flames of charity in the heart…at Christmas, all roads lead home.”

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